Mr. Chow–Worst Restaurant in NYC! Lindsay Lohan Likes it here?

Ever wondered how you can blow your money as fast as possible? Hmm, try Mr. Chow’s restaurant! We can only speak for the heinousness that took place at the NYC location but what happened here was hella-wrong! First of all, let me preface this by saying that I knew what I was in for when we reserved a table at Mr. Chow’s. I knew it was a pretentious, celebrity mecca where the food and drinks would undoubtedly be over-priced. What I didn’t know was that in no way, taste or form would they be worth it. In fact, I would have to say, skip the Mr. Chow experience and order from your local Chinese takeout, dive.

We were ushered in and quickly escorted to our table, which was swimming in a sea of white vomitotious, decor, which was desperately trying to overcompensate for the lack of any sort of ambiance. We were asked if we wanted champagne and tried to turn it down. After heavy persuasion about the celebratory mood we absolutely needed to experience we finally caved and ordered a round for the four of us. We begrudgingly accepted a second round now that our inhibitions had clearly been defeated. Our waiters finally graced us with his presence and informed us that he’d be picking our meals out for us.

Ahem, what? I don’t know if you’ve ever dined with four Jews before but letting a stranger pick our cuisine was just not in the cards, especially with a vegetarian on our hands. After fierce arguments ensued between our party and the staff we finally won (take that!) and ordered from the a la carte menu.

You may think being able to order what we wanted was a coup but you’d be wrong. The food was absolutely terrible. The Chinese Bolognese that once made my mouth water actually made me want to vom. Everything else we ordered (especially the non-vegetarian stuff) also fell short of my expectations. The food could not have been less original or more bland. I mean Lindsay Lohan eats here doesn’t it have to be good? Oh wait, she just drinks champagne and eats carrot sticks… small oversight. The portions were tiny and so we finished the meal just as we had come in…starving. Perhaps a little tipsy…but starving!

La La La I thought to myself as I visualized myself picking up a plain slice of pizza on my way home and then the bill came. Dun Dun Dun…..$448 for 4 people for barely any food. How much was the champagne? $35 a glass, a fact they cleverly chose not to share with anyone. Clearly, I can’t blame them. We should have asked, but it won’t stop me from irrationally despising them. However, as we looked more closely at the bill we realized that they had overcharged us for several items never ordered and I’m guessing thought we wouldn’t notice the padding due to our champagne bliss….wrong! We obviously immediately complained and had the bill reduced. Still…NOT WORTH IT.

Under no circumstances would I try this restaurant! Ever. Ever. Ever. I don’t care if it’s your 50th wedding anniversary or your dog’s 14th birthday. Whatever the occasion–you’d be better off at Domino’s! Seriously.